#MomLife

You know how people always say that moms put their family before themselves all the time? Well, I am a prime example of that.  Whenever we move, I immediately start researching and asking around to find doctors for my girls.  I get them in right away to see a pediatrician and then get all the specialists set up for my youngest.  I find them a dentist, orthodontist, and any other medical professional that they need within a month or two of our move.  Then life gets busy, and I never set up those things for myself until it becomes a necessity to get my medications refilled. There have even been times that I went months without my migraine medication and was miserable just because I just didn’t make the time to get myself set up with a new doctor.  Every single time we have moved, it has taken many months before I find new doctors for myself.  I just don’t make myself a priority.  Once I get an established physician, I am consistent in going and making appointments.  It is just that initial appointment that always gets pushed aside.   We moved here a little over 2 years ago, and I just went to the dentist for the first time.  Keep in mind that I am usually religious about going to the dentist every 6 months. While it should have been a priority, it just wasn’t unfortunately.  I really am ashamed to say that it took me that long to go.  I can assure you that now that I have broken the ice, I will go every six months religiously…until we move again. 

Putting myself last is a big part of why it takes me so long to establish doctors, dentists, and such for me.  I think another part of it is the fear of finding someone good that I like.  I always do extensive research before I pick someone to try.  I’m a little weird about it, I guess. I have been looking at dentists for a while before I finally pulled the trigger and made the appointment.  I just don’t like new and unknown, and I am definitely not good with change.  It’s even sadder that one of my few friends here is actually a dentist and would have gladly seen me, but I couldn’t make myself make an appointment with her.   I was afraid of it being too weird.  It’s not like I have a fear of the dentist like some people. I really don’t.  I’ve never even had a bad experience before.   Although, I do have to admit that I once bit my dental hygienist when she was inserting that tray of nasty fluoride like back in the day, BUT I was little and that hygienist was my aunt.  LOL! Oh, and the sound of them scraping plaque off my teeth is a bit like nails on a chalkboard for me, but other than that I have no problems going to see a dentist.  I have good teeth and have never had a cavity in my life. The biggest dental work I have ever had was having my wisdom teeth removed and having braces.  It really is all about not making myself a priority and not liking change.  

I finally had my dentist appointment yesterday, and everything went totally fine as expected.  I liked both the hygienist and the dentist, and it was so dumb that I waited so long.  The worst part was trying to understand what they were saying to me through their multiple layers of protective gear.  It was really hard to hear them.  Again, there were no cavities, and they were impressed with how well my teeth looked considering it had been 2 years since I had a cleaning.  I just got lucky with good teeth genes. I do have some receding gum lines because I am aggressive brusher. I do better about that when I am concentrating, but I’m usually not paying attention when I brush my teeth. They also recommended an upper bite guard which I’m not thrilled about because I clench my teeth at night. Overall, though, it was a great appointment and one that I should not have put off for so long.  

I would like to say that I have learned my lesson and will do better the next time we move, but that would likely be a lie.  I know myself too well and am certain that it will be a struggle for me again next time. It’s just the life of a mom who doesn’t make herself a priority and also doesn’t like change. 

Anchored and Rambling,

Refocus

Today is one of those days when I start to feel overwhelmed by all the things that have to happen in the next week.  There is so much to do and so little time to do it in.  To give you an idea of how overwhelmed I am starting to feel, I am seriously considering not going to my daughter’s high school gymnastics meet tonight so I can get stuff done. That is totally not like me.  I ALWAYS go.  Now, to be honest, she isn’t actually competing tonight so I technically wouldn’t be missing anything. She had a little fall and landed on her head on the beam yesterday, and her coaches are being extra cautious and not letting her compete.  She is totally fine, and I really do appreciate their caution.  Maybe it is a blessing in disguise.  She gets a night off to rest her body, and I can maybe get some things done.  As I have mentioned before, this month marks the start of craziness in our house. It really kicked off last week with the first gymnastics meet on Wednesday.  Then there was an event at the youngest’s school Friday night. I had two vendor events on Saturday as well as my oldest having her gym Christmas party that night. Then the cheer season kicked off with a showcase on Sunday.  Today we have the high school meet, and she has a club meet on Saturday.  Oh, and we have cheer competitions on Saturday and Sunday an hour away. My husband and I will be dividing and conquering.  All of that isn’t really what is causing the overwhelming feeling I am feeling today, though.  What really has me all worked up is that we leave in a week to drive to South Carolina to turn around and fly to the Bahamas the next day for another gymnastics meet.  That’s right, she has a competition in the Bahamas the weekend before Christmas! We fly back to South Carolina on the 23rd for Christmas with the family.  I don’t even want to think about packing for 2 different climates! Don’t get me started on Christmas gifts.  I am not finished, and I don’t know when I have time to finish. 

Remember my post last week about taking the time to stop and remember? I wanted to take time to enjoy the little moments and remember the whole reason for the holiday season.  I talked about not letting the stress and craziness of the season to get to me.  Well, it is getting to me.  I am not following my own advice! <hand to palm> I know that I totally sound like a hypocrite right now. That is the thought I had as soon as I reread the first paragraph of this post.   I am doing the exact thing that I said I didn’t want to do and that I encouraged all of you not to do.  I am being ruled by my to-do list and am totally stressing out.  I am letting it get in the way of living in the moment. The good news is that I have this blog to remind me of what I say; and it forces me to evaluate my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors on a regular basis.  I am certainly a work in progress. Today was a little setback that I almost let take over, but thankfully I just stopped myself.  My husband has been trying out meditation to help with his stress level and he says it is helping.  I just had the thought that maybe I should give it a try to see if it helped me.  I stopped, closed my computer, closed my eyes, and just breathed. I just focused on breathing for a few minutes, and then I consciously let go of the million things running through my head and all of the stress I was feeling. I chose to replace those stressful thoughts with positive thoughts.  Instead of thinking about all of the presents I still needed to buy, I started thinking about the time I would spend with those people I am buying gifts for. My time with them is so much more valuable than the gift I give them. I was reminding myself to remember just like I said I wanted to do last week.  I allowed peace to wash over me as I reminded myself of what is really important.  It actually worked.  As I opened my computer back up to continue typing, I felt completely different.  Just those short 5 minutes I took to stop, breath, and remember was all I needed to get back on track.  I refocused my thinking, and it made all of the difference.  I feel lighter and freer than I did 15 minutes ago. The meditation worked.  It changed the whole focus of my day.  

Now, I don’t know if it will make a difference in my decision to go to the gymnastics meet tonight or not, but it certainly made me feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am also not saying that I won’t get those overwhelming feelings again tomorrow or even later today. I am almost 100% certain that I will.  I just know now that when it does happen again, I only need to stop and refocus. Maybe I will write REFOCUS on a note and stick it to my mirror to remind myself every morning to start my day by refocusing my thoughts and feelings to be more positive. Maybe my husband is on to something with this whole meditation thing every morning. If you are feeling overwhelmed especially during the holiday season, give it a try. Try to refocus yourself to the positive things in your life. Refocus and remember.

Anchored,