Wow! December 1 hit, and it was like someone hit fast forward on my life. Things started piling up and life has gotten completely crazy. It is almost like 2020 wants to go out with a bang here in the last month. Just in case the other 11 months weren’t insane enough, it had to throw a few more punches at us. COVID cases are on the rise and people are trying to figure out what to do for the holidays. Should we travel or not? Should we gather with family in small groups? What is Christmas even going to look like this year? I have no answers to these questions as they are things we are trying to figure out ourselves. Our cheer competitions are being canceled, rescheduled, or going virtual left and right. Yesterday, they even tried to throw an unexpected competition at us for this coming Saturday, which just about sent me over the edge after the last few days I’ve had. I already had a commitment and was scrambling to figure out how to get my kids to the venue 3 hours away and find someone to do their hair and makeup. I had a mini freak-out only to find out that it was all for nothing and the gym had decided we weren’t going because the venue required our kids to have a negative COVID test since we were coming from another state. I am grateful that they didn’t want to put the girls through that, but, needless to say, my nerves were shot yesterday. My kids are supposed to return to school at the end of January for 2 days a week, and now that is up in the air as well due to the rise in cases. It is almost like we are back in March all over again. The uncertainty is so stressful and causes so much anxiety.
I have never seen so many pictures on social media of Christmas trees that have fallen down as I have in the last few days. Many of them have fallen for no apparent reason other than “It’s 2020!” People keep posting about lost packages too. A few of my own packages seem to have been lost by FedEx, and I don’t know if or when they will arrive. I spent a long time on the phone with FedEx this morning trying to figure out where they are, and no one seems to be able to help me. I have also seen an unusually large number of posts from friends who have lost family members in the last few days. They weren’t a result of COVID either. It is sad, especially knowing that COVID had kept them apart for months. People keep saying that the hits just keep on coming this year, and I am starting to believe they are right after the last few days I’ve had. I have really tried to remain positive through all of this, but some days are hard. I’m human. Yesterday was one of those days that got to me. I know that I just said last week all the things I was grateful for that this year has brought about, but sometimes I lose sight of those things when one thing after another keeps pounding me. It was like I had taken so many hits (1 literal hit but that is a story for another day) over that past few days that it just got to me yesterday. When the whole thing happened with the cheer competition, a flood of emotions came out that I had been holding in and caused me to explode. It was like the last straw. I don’t like myself when I let things get to me. I beat myself up for losing control and letting things affect me in that way. I don’t like spouting negativity, but I sure did that yesterday! (Sorry to those of you that felt the brunt of my frustration!) The only thing I can do when I reach my limit of frustration like that is to try to step back and breathe. Then I usually say a long prayer to get myself back together and on track. That is what I did yesterday, and I am doing totally fine today. I just needed to let it all out and pray my way to a better mindset.
I have a feeling that there are going to be more days like that for all of us before this year comes to a close in a few short weeks. It’s 2020, ya’ll! Buckle up and hang on because it’s not over yet!