I feel like people often view me as a strong, confident, independent woman; but that couldn’t be farther from reality. Inside I am really just an insecure mess. I’m always worried about something. I worry about what others think of me, about the way I look, and about the things I say and do. I am always tearing myself down in my head and second guessing everything I do. I can certainly put on a good show outwardly so that you would never know what was going on in my brain at the same time. I guess maybe in some ways I am strong and independent, but that is because I have no other choice. I have to keep it together for everyone else’s sake while crumbling inwardly. No matter how strong I am, I am equally just as insecure. Why is it that as women we feel like we have to hide our insecurities? We all project this perfect life when it is often a lie. I feel certain that the most secure and powerful women in the world have insecurities as well. As a society we see insecurity as a weakness, so we just hide it and suffer through it alone. We don’t talk about how we feel about our bodies or about our worries about being a mom, wife, business woman, or whatever else we judge ourselves on. We hold it all in until it manifests its way into anxiety and sometimes depression.
More and more women are being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and are taking medications to help manage it. While I have never been diagnosed, I am fairly certain that I have it as well. There is nothing wrong with needing and asking for help, but we do need to ask ourselves why this has become such an issue with women in the first place. What are we doing as a society that the cases of anxiety disorders are on the rise? Why are we allowing the pressures of the world to affect us so much? Yes, I put the pressure on myself to look and be perfect, but where did I get the idea that I needed to be that way in the first place? It’s because we’ve been programed not to show our weaknesses. We don’t talk about it…ever. We put our best life on social media and hide the truth. The so called “perfect life” is on display for us 24/7, and we feel like we are failing when ours doesn’t look the same. Those little snapshots don’t show the whole picture, though. Those filters don’t show who we really are, but that is what we put out for the world to see. We don’t show those insecurities. Instead, we try to hide them. It is something that we as women should talk about. Think of how much better it would make you feel to know that those strong, powerful women you idolize felt the same way you do. Think of the power it would give you to know you aren’t alone!
We also don’t believe it when others say something good about us. We don’t accept compliments. My husband gave me a compliment last night and I laughed it off, rolled my eyes, and said “yeah right!” Instead of saying thank you and allowing myself to feel good, it made me think about all the negatives about myself. We as women do this all the time. We say, “Thank you, BUT…” and talk ourselves out of the compliment. We end up putting ourselves down either verbally or in our heads instead of letting the kind words sink in and warm our hearts. We don’t allow ourselves to believe that anyone else could really believe those nice things about us. We turn the compliment into destruction. I do it all the time. I honestly don’t know if I know how to truly accept a compliment. I let the compliment fuel my insecurities instead of taking it for what it really is.
Women have got to band together and put a stop to all of this and make a real change. Having insecurities is not a sign of weakness, but there is a way to get past them. We have to start by having real conversations with our friends, family, or spouse about our insecurities. This will make them not so taboo. It will allow us all to see that we are normal for feeling the things we feel and maybe make the insecurities go away. Next, we have to stop only putting the good out for others to see. Stop using filters. Show the real you. It’s ok to say that you had a rough day or that you are struggling with something. This will keep us all from having a skewed view of real life and real women. It will be actual proof that we aren’t alone. Then, start believing the good about yourself. Allow a compliment to sit in your heart and fill it with joy. Don’t allow yourself to turn it into something it’s not. Take it in and feel it. Only then are you going to change the narrative in your head. Finally, give your self compliments. Speak positive affirmations to yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell your self boldly and proudly that you are beautiful, strong, and confident. The more you tell yourself that, the more you will come to believe it. It is the truth!
Let’s work together to empower each other and force that anxiety curve to plummet downward!