I was not happy with myself yesterday. The day was a struggle, and I let things get the best of me. It all started the night before when I was up off and on all night with a migraine. Thankfully, my meds kicked in and it was gone by the time I got up in the morning, but I still had the after a migraine fog. Despite the rough night, tiredness, and the fog swirling around in my head, I guess I started the day out in an ok mood. As a migraine sufferer, those are normal feelings for me, unfortunately. Anyway, I got up and got ready and then worked on finishing up my style post for a couple of hours. It was like I was on autopilot, though. I was just going through the motions. Once I hit publish on my post, my mood started to go downhill. There was nothing that caused my mood to shift so drastically, but it just did. I was being quiet and withdrawn at first, but every little thing seemed to suddenly irritate me. I felt out of sorts and didn’t know why. I didn’t even realize that I was a ticking time bomb ready to explode. By the time I had finished cooking dinner last night, I was in the worst mood. I was trying to log my daughter into her virtual cheer class, and it wasn’t working. The code kept saying it was invalid every time I tried to enter it. That little frustration was enough to set off the bomb. I eventually lost it and was shouting at everyone in my house for no reason at all. It was like I was trying to make everyone miserable along with me. The fact that they were all breathing near me was enough to set me off.
I honestly don’t know what put me in that mood yesterday or why I snapped. Maybe, the lack of sleep had taken its toll. Maybe being quarantined for so long got to me. Maybe it was hormones. Maybe it was all of that mixed together. I really don’t know. What I do know is that I am disappointed with myself in how I responded. I took my feelings out on my family, and I let it get the best of me. I needed a reminder of my word from last year…JOY. I needed to choose joy instead of negativity, but I didn’t. I let the negativity fester inside me until it had nowhere to go but to explode outward. I think it is only natural that we have bad days sometimes. The reason behind it isn’t as important as how we react to the feelings and emotions inside us. Yesterday, I reacted poorly. I chose to let it rule may day and affect my family.
I had another sleepless night last night, but I am going to make sure today is different than yesterday. This morning I woke up and told myself that it was going to be a good day. I told myself that I was choosing joy today above all else. That simple affirmation was enough to put me in a good mood. It was enough to change my mindset from negative to positive. We all have the ability to change our mindset. It’s pretty simple in fact. We only have to make the right choice. We can choose to wallow in our sorrows like I did yesterday, or we can choose to have a grateful, joyful heart. I can tell you from experience that the latter is a much better choice. Whenever you are feeling down, stop and think of something that you are grateful for in that very moment and focus on it. Choose to see the joy in your life. I promise you that simple act will turn your mood around. You can’t possibly feel bad when you are choosing gratitude and joy.
Today I choose JOY, and I choose to be RELENTLESS in that choice. How about you? What choice are you making for yourself today?