What a week it has been! I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had the time to write. I am pretty sure that I have spent 90% of the last 3 days in my car driving kids to and from everywhere. I was basically in my car for 6 hours straight yesterday. I only stopped at the house long enough to warm up some pasta for my youngest before having to head back out. It has been so crazy. It is amazing how quickly I forget what it is like to parent alone while my husband is away when it isn’t happening on a regular basis. Remember that deployment curse I wrote about last week? Well, it struck again. My phone got knocked off the counter and it hit the hardwood floor in just the right spot to break the LED thing inside. I was left with a phone that worked but had bright green lines running through the screen. Thankfully, we had insurance on it, and I was able to get a new phone sent to me. Unfortunately, it took me almost 2 hours at Verizon on Tuesday to get the new phone set up. That was time I didn’t have to waste and just one more thing added to my already hectic days. I did have a long overdue hair appointment mixed in there this week, which was glorious. I had her chop a good bit of my hair off, and it felt like I lost 10 pounds. When you have hair as thick as mine, any kind of length can get heavy. It always feels so good when it’s cut and texturized to thin it out some. On top of all the craziness, I have also been nursing a migraine all week. I don’t know if it is a result of the changing weather or stress causing it, but it is pretty miserable. It really has just been one of those weeks when I can hardly catch my breath. It has had me in a funk all week.
Do you ever have those days or weeks, when you just don’t feel like yourself? That has been me this week. I wouldn’t say that I have been in a bad mood per se, but I am just not feeling good. I feel extra tired and irritable. My kids are driving me nuts, and everything seems to annoy me. I am getting stressed over little things that should not be causing any stress at all. I’m worrying about things that I have no control over. I also don’t want to do anything because everything feels like a chore. Ok…so maybe I AM in a bad mood! I’m just in some kind of funk. I really don’t know what is causing it, but I can certainly feel it. Is it just because I’m tired? Stressed? Is the migraine affecting my mood? Is it because my husband it gone? I’m sure it is a combination of all of the above. Whatever the reason, though, I’m over it. It’s tough when you just aren’t feeling it but have no choice but to keep pushing through. It is hard keeping up with everything, especially when you can’t see an end in sight. Sorry guys! I guess I am just having one of those “woe is me” kind of moments. I know we all have those days sometimes. It’s only temporary, thank goodness. I will snap out of it eventually. It just stinks while you are in the midst of it. Mom life is hard enough, but when you are in a bad mood, it just magnifies it all.
What I need is a reset. I need to reset my mood from bad to good. The hard part is realizing that you actually need a reset. It has taken 3 days of suffering for me to get there. Once you figure out that your mood is what is causing all these negative feelings, you can actually begin to focus on making a change. You have to realize that you are in control of how you feel and the only one that can change it is you. The one thing that always helps me to reset is prayer. I don’t mean just a quick little prayer sent up while you are busying doing something else at the same time. I mean flat out stopping everything to sit and be present with God. Just having a conversation with him about how I am feeling seems to lift weight off of me that I didn’t even know I was carrying around. Talking through it all and really owning it, gives me a sense of peace every single time. It helps me to turn my frown upside down. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. It’s as simple as talking to God. That is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to close this post and pray. I am going to reset my heart and my mind with the peace that only God can give me.