Yesterday I heard one of the leaders of Trades of Hope talk about believing in yourself, and it stuck with me. I think this is something that ALL women struggle with. At least it is with every single woman I know. I know I struggle with it every day. Would you ever tell your best friend or your daughter that she’s not good enough, pretty enough, or kind enough? Would you tell her that she’s terrible or that she sucks? Would you ever make her feel like she is worthless? I can almost bet that the answer is a resounding no! That’s my answer for sure. I would NEVER do that to anyone…EXCEPT myself. Those are things I find myself saying in my head about me all the time. If you are constantly telling yourself those things, you will start to believe them. You will doubt your abilities and second-guess yourself all the time. If you continuously tell yourself that you aren’t good enough, you will begin to feel worthless. Why do we do that to ourselves? If you wouldn’t say it to your own child, why do you say it to yourself?
I know that I am constantly telling myself that I am failing as a mom or a wife or a business woman. I tell myself that I can’t do something because I will screw it up. I constantly doubt myself and my abilities. What does that negative talk do to me and my psyche? It makes me believe those horrible things are true. It makes me self-conscious. It makes me useless. It makes me a failure. It prevents me from trying new things because I believe that I’m not good enough. I always have the feeling of “I can’t” because I don’t believe in myself and my abilities. If those negative things are what you constantly tell yourself, they will become your truth. It will become who you are. Is that really who you want to be? Is that the example you want to set for your kids and others?
Well, I am here to tell you that all of those negative things you believe about yourself are LIES! Every time you tell yourself that you aren’t good enough, you are lying. Every time you feel worthless, it is a lie. When you tell yourself you can’t, you are not speaking the truth. You are lying to yourself every day. You are a LIAR just like me. As much as I try to fight them, those lies creep in all the time, but we have to work hard to stop the lies. We have to break the cycle. We have to speak truth to ourselves and ditch the lies. Turn those negative lies into positive truths. Don’t let the lie become your truth. Instead of “I can’t” say “I can.” Instead of saying “I’m a failure,” say “Look what I can do.” Instead of saying, “I’m worthless,” say “I am valuable.” Speak those truths aloud. Start believing the truth and not the lie. Turn the lie upside down. As soon as you say it aloud, you will begin to feel weight lifted from your shoulders. You will begin to see yourself in a new light and new doors will open for you. I have talked so many times about speaking positivity to yourself and using positive mantras. I really believe in that. I believe it will allow you to retrain your brain to think in a more positive way. I also believe that it will help you see value in who you are and what you can give to the world. Do it every morning when you wake up, every night when you go to bed, and whenever those lies start to creep in. Post it on the mirror or write it in your calendar each month. Stop lying and start telling the truth. By doing so, you will begin to believe in yourself. It will change your outlook on life. You are worthy of being loved by yourself. That is the simple TRUTH.