Well, my doctor diagnosed me with a sinus infection just like I expected and prescribed me an antibiotic. First of all, I am allergic to penicillin, which makes many doctors nervous about what to give me every time I have a sinus infection (which is a lot). When I go to an urgent care place, they always give me a Z-Pack even though I have told them a million times that it never works. I always end up going back in for another antibiotic. Since I went to my regular doctor who has already come to know me pretty well in the few short months that we have lived here, she knew not to give me that. Instead she decided to give me an antibiotic that I have never had before that I can recall. She warned me that it was a cousin to penicillin but that it should be fine. She said the chance of me reacting to it was only like 3%. I trust her so I was fine with it. My reaction to penicillin is not typically life threatening anyway. I usually just break out in hives. Anyway, I was happy to have something other than a Z-Pack. Well, when I got to the pharmacy, the pharmacist was hesitant to fill the prescription for me. She told me the same thing that the doctor did about it being a cousin to penicillin. She confirmed with me the type of reaction I typically have and made me fully aware of the risks of taking it. Then she told me to have Benedryl on hand. Okay, now I was starting to get a little nervous, but I trust my doctor so I told her to go ahead and fill it. I have had 3 doses of it now and so far I am fine. I know that if I am going to have a reaction, it will be a few days before I do. At least, that is what typically happens. The bad news is that I woke up feeling worse today than I have felt the whole time. I didn’t sleep well at all. In fact, my sleep app said my sleep quality was only at 45% last night and my husband said I made moaning noises in his ear all night. I am coughing my head off and my chest and abs are sore from it. I am practically blowing my brains out of my nose and the pressure in my head is ridiculous. I know that is all gross and you probably don’t care, but you know I vowed to be honest with what is going on in my life. This is my reality today.
When I wake up in the mornings, I really like to not talk to anyone. I like to immediately take my shower and get ready for the day before I talk to anyone. I have always been this way. It is my “me time,” my time to reflect and pray. When I don’t feel well like today, I really don’t want to talk to anyone. I’m cranky and just am not pleasant. Well, when you have two children that have ADHD who wake up talking non-stop, it is pretty impossible to have your quiet morning time. It is hard enough on a normal day to listen and pay attention to what they are saying at 90 miles a minute in the morning, but today was especially difficult for me just because I don’t feel well. My oldest was even extra chatty today. She must have asked me a million random questions this morning. It was taking all of the energy I had left to not get impatient with her or show how annoyed I was. Isn’t that horrible? I know that it sounds bad, but I can’t help it. All I wanted to do was crawl back into my bed and try to get some sleep. I know that all moms get annoyed with their kids every now and then whether they admit it or not. As horrible as it may seem or to hear out loud, it is the truth. If you were ever to tell me that you never get annoyed with your kids, I would have to tell you that you are lying. If it were the truth, you wouldn’t be a normal human being. You would be like a robot or alien! I’m not kidding! Every mom/parent gets annoyed with their kids sometimes. Kids are annoying sometimes. Some parents have it happen more often and some less frequently depending on their personalities and their kids’ personalities. No matter how little or how frequent, it happens to us all, and it is perfectly NORMAL! It is also perfectly NORMAL to admit that your kids drive you nuts. Thankfully, I have my tribe that I know I can be 100% honest with, and I know that they won’t judge me. They will commiserate with me and tell me about how much their kids also annoy them. It makes me feel like I am not crazy, and I am not alone. I’m not a bad mom. It is totally normal for my kids to get on my last nerve. Sometimes I explode. Sometimes I am able to keep it together. I have learned that it is okay. Now that my kids are older, I can totally tell them when they are driving me nuts. They often think it’s funny and will attempt to just annoy me further all while they are laughing their heads off. It is all normal. It is just part of life, the life of a parent.
Now, if you will please excuse me, I am going to go crawl back in my bed where there is peace and quiet and attempt to go to sleep.