Hair like a Chameleon

I thought I would just continue with the theme of the past two days of reminiscing while looking through old pictures.  I thought it was only fitting to reminisce about the many stages of my hair.  You guys!!!! Seriously, my hair has changed so many times that it’s like a chameleon.  I’m not kidding! I would say that the first 10 or so years of my life, my hair can be blamed on my mother and my grandmother (I love them, but it’s true), and then the rest is totally on me! What were any of us thinking??? Just wait…it’s traumatizing to see!

Let me first begin by telling you about the natural tendencies of my hair.  I have crazy thick hair.  It’s so thick that whenever I make an appointment to get my hair done, they automatically know to add extra time to my appointment because it takes double the time to do my hair than a normal person, and that includes just getting a normal hair cut.  To get my hair highlighted, cut, washed, and blow dried, it takes between 3.5 and 4 hours. People always tell me that they are envious of my hair.  Well, I would gladly give them some. You could literally make a fur blanket for your dog with all of the hair that is on the floor when I get my hair cut.  Let’s not forget the amount of hair that sheds from my head on a daily basis too.  If you saw the hair in the shower and on my bathroom floor everyday, you would think I was totally balding. Nope! I’m not! I have to vacuum my bathroom floor every 2 days.  We even got a small Shark vac to keep in the bathroom just for my hair. It’s insane! I have so much hair that I have to get my hair cut and thinned every 8 weeks and that is stretching it.  I would prefer to go every 4 weeks, but that just gets expensive and time consuming. It grows insanely fast.  In addition to the thickness, my hair is straight as a board.  There is absolutely no body or curl anywhere on my head.  My hair doesn’t hold curl well either unless I use a lot of product on it.  I do easily get volume in my hair because it is so thick but no curl.  Even though my hair is straight as can be, I have to straighten it everyday just to tame it down.  My hair is big in all its thickness.

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As a young little girl (toddler age), my mom thought it would be great for me to have a bowl hair cut. Really??? I look like a boy.  I don’t know if people confused me for a male at that age or not, but my kids look at pictures of me at that time and think it’s hilarious that I look like a boy.  Maybe it was on trend in those days, but I don’t recall ever seeing pictures of my friends as toddlers with bowl cuts.  Hmmmm….

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My mom finally decided to let my hair grow so I at least started looking like a girl.  In came the part down the middle. I think she got that from her hair from the 70’s because she had long hair back then with a part down the middle.  My hair does not naturally part down the middle so unless you used those adorable <eye roll> plastic barrettes, the hair wasn’t staying parted down the middle. Oh and we needed the barrettes to hold back the bangs may or may not have been growing out. I’m not sure what was going on.

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The bangs did not end up going away, and I started preschool with long, straight hair and bangs. I have to say this look was one of my better looks as a child.  It’s actually probably my favorite of the many hairstyles that I had when I was younger. In fact, this is the only hairstyle that I liked until maybe high school. I have no idea why it ever got changed!  Oh wait….yes I do.  My mom! (I love you mom!)

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From the cute, long, straight hairstyle came the mullet.  You thought that it was mostly guys that had the mullet in the 80’s like Billy Ray Cyrus with his “Achy, Breaky, Heart”, but that’s not true because I had one too!  No lie! The bangs somehow got further and further back on my head and this beautiful style was born. We had a little bit of the feathering from the 70’s with the bangs and the full-blown mullet from the 80’s. Why???? I think I was a cute kid, but the hair just ruins the cute face, doesn’t it?

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I know you are dying laughing right now! Who wouldn’t be after seeing the pics above? Enter the wonderful idea from my mom and grandmother to PERM my hair!!! I can’t even! A person with as thick of hair as me should NEVER get a perm! I repeat, NEVER! I look like I had a giant bush on my head.  How anyone ever thought this looked good is baffling to me.  Just look at it! There are no words.  This look continued year after year with perm after perm. Not only did they do this to me, but they also did the exact same thing to my sister.  She has thick hair as well but not as thick as mine, and she actually has some natural curl to her hair.  We were bush twins! IT. WAS. SO. BAAAAAD!!! My uncle got married sometime during those years and my sister and I were junior bridesmaids in the wedding. We had to get fresh perms for the wedding so the curls were “just right.”  Then we had to wear LARGE, green, tulle bows in our hair.  It was like we had Christmas trees on our heads. All we needed were some hooks and ornaments to complete the look!  I couldn’t find a picture of that to show it to you in all its glory, but boy was it a sight!

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By the time I got to middle school, I was the one wanting a perm. I mean that’s what I knew and the wave perm was popular at that time.  It wasn’t the big bush on top of my head anymore, but it was big.  Oh and let’s not forget the curled back bangs. Weren’t they nice? The higher the better, right? UGH!!!

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Thankfully, by the end of middle school we had all come to our senses and stopped the perms! Praise the Lord!!! I will NEVER get another one!  I was finally letting my hair be its natural self, sort of. I still had the curled bangs but they were at least being curled down and not up anymore.  I still curled my hair under with a curling iron. I just couldn’t give it up completely, but you can see the improvements are coming.

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High school came and went with long straight hair that I still curled under and still curled those bangs every day.  A very special man, who I miss dearly, that started cutting my hair at that time called it a “turd curl!” He was right! I curled those bangs as tight as I could and they looked like a curled up turd on my forehead!  I don’t know why but I did it. I guess I thought it looked good. On fancy occasions I would roll my mop of hair with hot curlers, and I would French braid it myself when I was cheering.  That was a lot of hair to curl and a lot of hair to braid.

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I just had to throw this lovely Glamour Shot in there so you could see how much and how big my hair was when it was curled back in those high school days.  So much hair!!!

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The summer before I went to college I had finally decided to grow out the bangs.  My hair was still long but I was now curling it out instead of under. Once my bangs were all grown out, I decided I was tired of all of that hair and I chopped it off.  It has since stayed varying lengths of short from super short to just above my shoulders. I did grow it out long one more time for my wedding, but shortly after that, I cut it all off again.

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Fast forward to present day. I am not sure if I will ever go back to really long hair again.  With the thickness, it is just so much hair.  My husband really would like for me to have long hair again, but I just can’t stand it.  I did decide to go back to bangs about 8 years ago, but there is no more turd curl and no more curling iron.  I do use a flat iron to make it a little flatter and not so poofy, but that’s it. I know I will never perm my hair again, but I have recently experimented with a curling wand to get some beachy waves when it was a little longer.  It kind of brought back memories of the nightmare hair. Haha! I don’t know if I will do it again or not, though.  What do you think?

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I hope you have enjoyed a good laugh at my expense.  Unfortunately, I am stuck with those pictures and memories for the rest of my life! My kids sure do enjoy looking at them.  My youngest even called my mom the other night asking her what she did to me and why.  Thankfully we have learned from it and my hair is no longer as large as a bush!

Anchored down by hair,

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