Why aren’t we running? Isn’t it time to stop what you are doing and take a moment to think about what your goals and dreams are? Are you actively pursuing those things? If the answer is no, what are you waiting for? I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching in the last few months and I can honestly tell you that I didn’t have an answer to that question. I had no idea what my dreams or goals in life were. I was so lost in who I thought I should be to realize who I really wanted to be. I came across the quote above scrolling through Facebook one day. I don’t know the source of who said it but it really struck me. I know I was definitely not running towards anything. I was just getting through each day. It was almost like I was on autopilot. I wasn’t really LIVING. Honestly, it was more like I was just EXISTING. I was going through the motions of my life longing for each day to be over, and then I would go to bed and wake up to do it all over again. I would tell myself that if I could just get to such and such point, things would be better. That time would come and then what? Was everything better? No, it wasn’t. I would just start the cycle again and it would go on and on. Do you have those feelings? Are you even aware of them? I really wasn’t until recently. I just assumed that was how life went.
Through most of my childhood, teens, and young adult years, my goals and dreams were to be a teacher, a wife, and a mother, in that order. In my head that was what I was supposed to do. Once I accomplished those things, I guess I thought that was it. What more could I want? I had achieved those dreams, so now I was just supposed to get through each day being that person. That was what I thought my duty was. It never occurred to me before that I could have more dreams or that my dreams could change. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved being a teacher and working with those kids. I love being a wife and mom. I wouldn’t take those things away ever, but why can’t I have more? Do my dreams have to stop there? Why does that have to be it? Do I have to remain in those roles for the rest of my life or can I change it up? Is it wrong to want more for myself? These are questions I started asking myself and praying about daily. At first I thought that there was no way I could be or do anything more. That’s not what was expected of me and this is who I was supposed to be (again, thoughts in my head that I put there myself). The more and more I really thought about what I wanted in my life, and the more that I thought about the kind of person I wanted to be (especially the kind of person I wanted my girls to see), I realized that was definitely not the person that I was at that very moment. I was actually miserable, but I just didn’t know it. Although I had reached my goals of teacher, wife, and mom, I was not doing any of those roles well. I was too stressed out trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be. I needed a change. Now that I have let go of that unrealistic view of who I thought I was supposed to be, I am taking the time to think about what my new goals and dreams are and praying about God’s will in my life. I want my girls to see someone who is constantly setting huge goals and is working with all she’s got to reach those goals. Just existing is not enough. We should ALWAYS reach for more and never settle for existing. I can say that I finally feel like I am running towards my NEW dreams and I am on FIRE. Before I was in a stalemate but I am not anymore. I have broken free from the chains that were holding me back and am putting myself out there for all the world to see. I am working my butt off to be a better version of who I was before. I am reaching for more. I am striving to be a better mom and a better wife and the only way to do that is to be a better me. I am running towards the person that God created me to be. Will you join me in this race?