Put your Big Girl Panties On

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I have been blown away by the response to my first post yesterday.  You guys are amazing.  The support from all of you makes me feel much more confident in my purpose (my why) in taking the leap of faith into this new journey. It really means a lot to me. If this blog touches you in any way and you feel like someone you know would like what I have to say, please share. I want to reach as many people as possible to put a bright spot in their day.  Again, I promise these posts won’t always be hardcore.  In fact, tomorrow I have something light-hearted to share. Stay tuned!

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Today I feel led to touch on a topic that I feel every woman struggles with…fear of failure. I cannot tell you the number of people that reached out to me yesterday saying that it made them feel better to know that I had struggles just like them.  Ladies, I am here to tell you that I am NOT PERFECT and neither are you! I don’t believe that anyone is.  You never know what is going on inside of someone else, so you should NEVER compare yourself to anyone else.  You should never have the thought that you wish you could get it together like so and so has it.  I can promise you that person that you think has it all together, doesn’t.  They are just good at hiding it like me. You may never know what that other person’s struggles are, but I can assure you that they have them.  Guess what? It is OKAY to have struggles! It is OKAY to feel like you are drowning! It is OKAY to not know the answers! It is OKAY to make mistakes. It is OKAY to not have the “perfect” life. NO ONE DOES!! What is important is how you deal with those things.  You can sit and wallow in your sorrows with a “woe is me” attitude or you can put on your big girl panties and do something about it.  You have to invest time in yourself! That is the key. This is something that has taken a long time for me to learn. I am not talking about taking time to go get a manicure or pedicure (although taking time to do those things is important too).  I am talking about taking time to grow as a person and investing time in dealing with the things that make you feel like you are a failure.  The thing that always makes me feel like a failure it that I have this insane idea of perfection. I had this belief that I had to be perfect at everything that I did.  I had to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect gym mom, the perfect teacher, the perfect homemaker, the perfect Christian, and I could go on and on. When I didn’t live up to these insane standards I put on myself, I had a constant feeling of failure. It was killing me because I was trying to be the best at everything, but I could not keep up with it all.  Cue the drowning feeling. What I have finally realized is that my idea of perfect is not reality.  Perfect is not perfect! I have done a lot of soul searching in the last few months like I never have before. I have taken the time to think about what I really want out of my life and the kind of person that I want to be.  I have come to realize how important that is. I had to change my mindset.  How did I do that? Well, it is an ongoing process of reading books, listening to Ted Talks, listening to podcasts, reading the Bible and praying, and taking the time to sit and reflect on how I currently feel about myself and how I want to feel about myself instead. I have never been one of those people that reads self-help books, but I am now. There are some really great ones out there that I will share below, but you have to find the ones that appeal to you and what you are struggling with.  I just read a chapter a day and then spent time reflecting on it and how it can affect me in my daily life. I have never been a podcast listener until recently either, but I have come to look forward to them.  I am certainly not finished growing and changing, and I don’t think I ever will be. I just have to keep investing time into me. I have started taking 30 minutes a day to do just that.  Thirty minutes a day is all I need to work on me. Thirty uninterrupted minutes. I know you are thinking that there is no way you can fit 30 minutes into your day when you can barely get everything you have to do in. If you really want to work on yourself and make a change, I promise you can find that time.  Maybe you wake up 30 minutes earlier in the day.  Maybe you cut out a TV show.  Maybe you listen to a podcast or audio book while you are driving the daily carpool. Your 30 minutes doesn’t have to look like mine.  Figure out what you need to do in those 30 minutes that will connect you to your soul and help you to figure out how to be the best version of yourself.   Be anchored in who you are and who you want to be. Be someone who doesn’t look at failure as just that, a failure.  Look at it as a learning opportunity.  You have to be intentional.  You have to plan. Put it in your schedule ahead of time and be committed to following through. No excuses!  You are worth it. Again, YOU ARE WORTH IT! You are worth those 30 minutes a day.  Nothing is more important than you! Stop putting others’ needs before your own and focus on yourself. If you really want it, you can do it. Put on your big girl panties and just do it!

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Here are some books that I recommend that I hope to post my review and thoughts on at a later time. Some I have already read and some are in line to be read. Are there any that you have read that I should read? Comment below and let me know!

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  1. Rachel Hollis-Girl Wash Your Face
  2. Rachel Hollis-Girl Stop Apologizing (coming out in March)
  3. Bobby Bones-Fail Until you Don’t: Fight, Grind, Repeat
  4. Mel Robbins-The Five Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
  5. Samantha Ettus-The Pie Life: A Guilt Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction

If you don’t read any of these, you HAVE to read Girl Wash Your Face! Trust me!

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3 thoughts on “Put your Big Girl Panties On

  1. Thanks for sharing Big. There are two messages I recently listened to on Focus on the Family podcast about perfectionism. So good!!

  2. […] are important to me.  I even put in the 30 minutes of time to work on my personal development (see Put on Your Big Girl Panties), family time, and hobby time. Here is an example of the schedule I have made for myself for this […]

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